When the tables turn ……

A guest blog by my dear friend, Lisa. 

You know those rare moments in your life when you experience something so unexpected that you end up with a look on your face like a slapped bottom?

I recently had one of those moments … my roommates discovered me in the hallway with that look. When they inquired as to why this particular look was displayed in all its glory across my delicate features, I sat them down over a cup of tea and shared my story.

Once upon a time…. In a land far far away called Melbourne…. There lived a beautiful princess named Lisa.  She was a spirited soul who enjoyed dating men with an old fashioned flair about them. However she was also a forward thinking young lass and although she enjoyed it when a man looked after her, she was perfectly content contributing financially on a date.

One day, Princess Lisa went on a date with her new man friend (aka new piece of booty). This date consisted of burgers and a movie. The fair princess had oh so graciously booked and paid for the movie tickets ahead of time so the man friend would not feel pressured to pay for everything, (pat on the back for you sweet princess!). …. However… the man friend was running late! (da da dahhh) and time was running out to eat dinner before the movie. Princess Lisa did the unthinkable… she pulled out her wallet (yet again!) and ordered the food (AND A BEER FOR THE MAN FRIEND BECAUSE HE SOUNDED STRESSED).  Timing it perfectly, the food and beer arrived just as the man friend entered the restaurant.  They ate… they laughed… she shared some witty stories that entertained the “bajesus’ out of him …and they finished just before the movie started….  You could almost say that quite frankly … Princess Lisa saved the goddamed day.

But wait… I know what you’re thinking… how does one save the day and yet still end up with a face like a slapped bottom? There is more to this story little ones… fast forward to the end of the evening. Man friend has driven the fair maiden home …. All signs point to him coming up and spending the evening performing sexy time acts of gratitude upon the beautiful, charitable savior (aka moi) … He parks the car… turns off the ignition… leans in towards the princess and seductively whispers…. “Right luv…I’m tired, have a good sleep”  …And with that he pops open the door, promptly removes the princess from his vehicle and drives off.

Ladies and gentlemen…. What the actual fuck was that?! What man in his RIGHT BLOODY MIND not only allows a woman to pay for the entire evening but does not bestow upon her a good bought of sexual favours in return?! What “GENTLEMAN”(slight hint of  sarcasm there) says NO to a RIDICULOUSLY ATTRACTIVE woman who has just wined and bloody dined the pants off them?!

Does she not deserve at least a back rub ? Or any rub! Perhaps a cuddle ? NOTHING?? NOTHINGGGG!!!


So now you understand the slapped bottom look. It’s safe to say that my roommates found it hilarious however I did start to realise something.  For the first time in the history of women vs men I FINALLY understood what it must feel like for a man on a normal basis.

They take out a women on the town, wine and dine her… and in the end .. even though all signs point to FREE WILLY… she gives him a chaste kiss on the cheek and promptly disappears into her apartment ….. leaving the poor guy with the now very familiar “slapped bottom” look on their face.

So when my dear friend Rachael hears my story and through a shower of giggles asks me the question “What have I learnt from this experience?” …I take a long pause…. Sleep on it…. And when I wake up the next morning I can honestly say that I did learn something fairly significant….

Women … are assholes


Thank you Lisa!! 




Nicks Seafood, Darling Harbour, Sydney

Average at best. The food wasn’t bad but the service was terrible. For me, that outweighs everything. We waited forever for everything and our request for water was ignored twice – they weren’t even that busy.

I ordered the barramundi with the tomato and corn salsa and chips – the barramundi was nice but nothing special. The sides need work.

Wish I checked the Zomato rating before I dined!


Nick's Seafood Restaurant Menu, Reviews, Photos, Location and Info - Zomato

Olivo, Darling Harbour, Sydney

What to do when you’re in Sydney alone on a business trip? Take yourself on a date.

The candle was burning and I knew exactly what I wanted before I even sat down.

The waiter had my smooth chianti in front of me in the blink of an eye.

My delicious, smoked chicken, funghi risotto was in front of me before I even wondered when it was coming.

And guess what? They even put on a firework show just for me. Okay, it was for the NRL footy boys but whatever.

Waterfront dining and the best company you could ask for!


Olivo Menu, Reviews, Photos, Location and Info - Zomato

Uber is Uber

So often I am asked the question, why do I choose an Uber over a taxi?

For me, the answer is simple. Uber outshines cabs in every single area of competition.

Let’s start with the driver. The Uber driver is courteous, polite, speaks great English, offers you water and mints. They even change the music channel to suit you, your preferred air temperature and most offer a mobile charging service. Try get any of that with a cab driver!

The next obvious one is the car. The Uber car is clean, doesn’t smell and is inconspicuous. It may not always be the biggest or top model but I would choose them over a stinky, old Ford Fairmont any day!

Please keep in mind that I am basing this on Uber X, the most basic form of the Uber service. Get me started on the benefits of black and we will be here all day.

Why so much pride in their presentation? Well, much of it has to do with the fact that they are rated at the end of the ride. But guess what, so are you! If you have a bad rating, good luck getting an Uber. I love a system based on mutual satisfaction and appreciation.

You don’t have to pay at the end. Well you do, but no money exchanges hands. The bill comes straight off your credit card which is preregistered on the app. You pull up at your destination and you are off! You can also split bills with other Uber users – try doing that in a cab. If you’re like me and travel for business and are terrible with receipts this is another life saver – they email you your receipt. You just forward that bad boy on to your accounts and you’re done! Don’t even get me started on the paper you are saving. Oh!! AND you can have more than one card registered – ie, I have both a personal and business card registered. Brilliant.

The biggest thing for me though? I feel SAFE. When I hop in an Uber it is geo tracked, the app knows exactly which driver is driving me and where to. I can share my location to anyone on a smart phone – they can see exactly where I am at any moment. Cabbies will try kick me out when I am going a short distance – Uber drivers are happy to accommodate.

They are a disrupter in the industry, and being a marketer, I love that. They are making some great alliance partners and their campaigning is pretty sweet too! I can’t help but gravitate towards them.

Not to mention they are starting Uber Assist to aid disabled people and they employ many mature drivers who have difficulty finding employment. Win-win. In fact, the man who drove me home tonight drives as he is bored in the afternoon and had run out of things to talk to his wife about. His Uber escapades supply him with endless tales. **Collective sigh.**

Oh and, it is cheaper than cabs by a while. But even if it was the same cost or more, I would still take it. The cost is not where I see value here.

So when you ask me would I rather take an Uber or a Taxi, there is zero thought required. Uber all the way, baby!


Vancouver Day 6

i was up early and in Kits for some business meetings. I met with my good friend Sunny and Tim for breakfast where we had awesome discussions about the future of food. 

Tim drove me to EA Games where my friend’s brother gave me an awesome tour. I was really lucky to get in and saw so many cool initiatives! I totally geeked out. They have a football field, basketball court, yoga studio, volley ball court, gym, gaming rooms and chill rooms and all over the show, they hold their meetings in cinemas and there’s dogs everywhere. It’s a very inspiring place and I loved how their branding and culture came to life around the facility. 

I met Amanda at a waterside cafe and we sipped mimosas, tapping away at our laptops for the rest of the arvo. 

We met some friends for dinner – Wednesday wings and took turns trying the hottest variety while Keanu the puppy wwat he’s on contentedlyon the path. 


Vancouver Day 5 

Soo I’m about two weeks behind here but I’ll try remember! 

We worked until check out then drove back from Harison Hot Springs to White Rock where we were hoping for some oysters. No luck – there was a red tide which had wiped them all out! Had some awesome mussels and tuna though. 

Back in Van I smashed out some more work then got ready for Diner en Blanc. Three years ago I did the PR for the event and Amanda and I had been invited to do it again. We were both keen to see where it would be and I just wanted to get dressed up and enjoy the atmosphere for a while. Lucky I ached a white dress – just in case.  

We helped with setup & soon enough the guests started flowing in. The event was held in Canada Place in downtown Vancouver and although it’s a pretty venue, I don’t think it flowed very well. Nonetheless it was a beautiful sight to see, as always. 

We drank a fair amount of red wine in the media tent (until they ran out) then cabbed to meet Bahram for dinner. I had the most incredible pasta at Yaletown Cactus Club. Butternut tortellini in burnt butter with poached prawns. OMG. 


Vancouver, Day 4

Started the day with a buffet brekfast. Met the most hilarious omelette making man ever. Not that I’ve met others to compare him to….

I had planned to take the day off work but Yvette had something urgent come up so we ended up working most of the day. 

Later in the arvo we took a break to go out on the jet ski! I had to sign 4 pages worth of legality to have it for just an hour! It cost $140 but was well worth it – I loved every minute of it! The speed was capped at 90kmph so obviously reaching that was my first feat. 

We flew around the lake taking in the sights of the Canadian landscape. It was stunning and all fun and games until we got out to the middle of the lake and the wind picked up. It was crazy, like being out on an angry ocean. We were getting sprayed by water in every direction and slapping down after each wave. We could barely go fast at all. Once we made it back towards the coast the waves went down a little and we were able to fly across the low once again! 

We worked again for a bit then walked around the lake and had sushi for dinner. I really wanted a beautiful trout or fish from the lake but surprisingly nobody had them. Sushi was average. 

We watched the sunset and spent time in the hot pools for the rest of the evening. 


Vancouver, Day 3

I was up early and ready for Yvette to pick me up for our road trip to Harisson Hot Springs except, Yvette, true to character was late. 

We went by a Farmers Market so I could investigate for work then Yvette’s so she could pack while I made a caprese salad then we hit the road! 

Yvette’s car is a convertible so with the wind in our hair we caught up and sang the 2 hours there. 

Check in was ridiculous even at 12pm for ‘pre check in’ at Harrison Hot Springs Resort. We waited about half an hour and because I was hangry and I knew Carso was waiting to have lunch with us, it wasn’t particully pleasant. Surely the hotel can predict when they need additional help at the front desk? I’m a customer service nazi. 

Finally I went to find Carso and we did a slow mo run into each other’s arms as we haven’t seen each other since I left. She had her friend, Ezza staying with her and we walked off in search of lunch.

We stopped at a German joint which was pretty average. Our waiter was… I actually don’t know what he was. Slow? Priorly occupied? In a constant day dream? Unaware of everything? 

It was great to catch up with everyone though and enjoy some sangria! 

Back at the hotel we could finally get up to our room. We changed, went for a swim in the natural hot springs, and got ready for dinner with some sunset pics on the balcony thrown in for good measure. 

Dinner was ‘included’ as part of our girls weekend away package. We had a fresh seafood platter with halibut, salmon, scallops and risotto. 

Dinner was wonderful, not because of the bottle of wine I drank but because of the live band to which all the older guests danced to. I love the way they dance, they were all very sweet and intimate. Inspired me to take more dance lessons – watch this space. 

Bear selfies on the way home! 

Ps. You might notice the smog, this is due to all the BC fires this year. 



Vancouver, Day 2

It’s like the breakfast holiday so far!

Amanda cooked me one of the most amazing breakfast I have had in my life. Fresh croissants, sautéed onions & mushrooms, poached eggs and a béarnaise sauce with truffle oil. Truffle oil! So essentially, an eggs benne on steroids! 

Next up? My first attempt at riding a bike in years. Like, not just a few. Many. Likeeee maybe 15? Maybe more? I haven’t ridden since I was a young teen. Soo I was pretty shaky. And uncoordinated. It would have been hilarious to watch. I struggled. Amanda was in hysterics at my uncoordinated approach. 

Anyway, I made it (slowly with lots of squeals) to Bellas Gelateria which, rumour has it, has the best mimosas in town. I’d care to agree at this stage. Mimosas with a splash of orange creamsicle – yumm. Anda offered for us to have a second, but I could barely drive that push bike sober. 

I forget how beautiful Vancouver is. The Seawall, the sky, the buildings. Yaletown and the Marina is simply stunning.

We made it to sunset beach, spread out the blanket and sunbathed. Actually, we napped. It was lovely. The music, everyone enjoying the sun, warm but not too hot. 

Our friend Pouria met us with some coronas, of which I drank two, now confident I could make it back home on the bike. 

It was definitely a quicker ride home. 

At home we discovered that we were both burnt down our left side only. There was one thing to do – nap. We were supposed to go on a night boat cruise but we were both so wiped out we just went to the bottlo for a red, got some cheese and watched a movie until we crashed out – again.

A lovely, cruisey day. 


Vancouver, Day 1

I feel like I have slipped back in to my old life. With the click of a finger (or rather a flight over the pacific) I’m back with all my old friends, in my old neighbourhood, eating at my old fave food spots. 

Back story here for those who aren’t regular readers, I lived in Vancouver for a year about 1.5 years ago. 

In the morning we got up (Amanda, Barram (her BF), and I) and Barram made me a traditional (freaking delicious) Turkish breakfast. Eggs fried on mushrooms with special sauces and warmed flat bread with condiments. There was honey, sour cherry jam and feta and you choose a few and mix it up – I can’t wait to make it for friends at home.

Might I add that I only met Barram that morning! Great guy. Seriously. He made me breakfast. I love food – he must have had intel. 

Barram and Amanda went to work and I worked from home. Which is what I used to do on Fridays in Vancouver way back when. 

A quick trip to Best Buys and I had a SIM card, adapter for my computer charger and a new wall plug for my iPhone as I’d left mine in NYC. All set up and ready to go! 

I punched out a day at work but there was one stop I HAD to make. Lunch. Duh! But a special lunch, at my favourite ever pizza joint, The Parlour in Yaletown. I dream about this pizza. The Goldmember. It has truffle oil and two types of cheese… Do I really need to say more? I enjoyed it with a crisp cider on the balcony in the sun. Just delightful. I may even go back again before I leave. In fact, of course I will! My mouth is watering already. 

Anyway back to my day. So I finished my incredible pizza, grabbed two takeaway for Amanda and Barram for when they got home and worked the rest of the arvo. What work you ask? Well, I’m working virtually for my usual day job. I work for this incredible company that allows me to work virtually and do industry research from location. I LOVE my job. I have actually missed my job while travelling – that’s a first. I can’t wait to see my colleagues when I’m back too. 

Amanda, Barram, his friend and I took the ferry to North Vancouver to the new Tap & Barrell for our friend Heather’s engagement dinner. We had a blast catching up (don’t go there for the food) and went out in Gastown afterwards. I got home around 3am to a beautifully made bed waiting for me. Great friends and hosts!!